Private Places in Buenos Aires

Edgardo kindly invited Jim e and me for lunch at his place, which was really great for both of us. Jim e had been a bit frustrated about not getting a chance to speak Spanish as much as he wanted.

After lunch, we walked to Cafe Tortoni where a famous elderly Argentinian poet named Sabado sat down at a nearby table surrounded by his fans.

I made a silly joke about how hard it was to read his work, since it was only available one day a week (sabado means Saturday in Spanish). It turns out my joke is incorrect for some reason which I’ll try to remember and write here.

Later that day, I called my friend Ezequiel from the World Social Forum in Porto Alegre three years ago. He told us to meet him at a private club which had no sign. We buzzed the doorbell to get in. I enjoyed seeing Ezequiel again, even if Edgardo did get a bit jealous (mistakenly since Ezequiel is totally straight). For some reason, the people living in Buenos Aires, that is the porteños, call straight people “pakis”. It seems odd since Spanish speakers could think it means people from Pakistan as well.

Museum Day and Dulce de Leche

Saturday morning Edgardo and I headed over from his place to the hotel to meet Jim e and wander around the city some more.

We shopped at bookstalls, then walked over to the MALBA Museum and cafe. I really loved both, including the submarino (hot milk and a bar of chocolate you break up and stir into the milk) I drank there.

The art in the museum was fantastic, definitely on a par with the best museums in the U.S. or Europe. Both Jim e and I particularly liked a painter named Xul Solar.

After MALBA, we walked over to the La Flor statue, which is a giant mechanical flower that opens and closes according to the time of day.

Then, we walked by the Law University where we saw the names of those law students disappeared by a former Argentinian government.

We went to the Museo de las Bellas Artes, which was also really great.

Here are some paintings by Xul Solar who painted rainbow flags before they were “invented”:

In the Recoleta neighborhood, we walked past a gigantic baobab tree the size of a city block which was planted around 1800.

We stopped at La Biella Cafe and then for Dulce de Leche ice cream at Freddo’s, an experience not to be missed or forgotten. Finally, we ate a reasonably good restaurant near the giant Abasto shopping mall.

We dropped Jim e off in a taxi on the way to Edgardo’s place. (I probably should have moved out of the hotel by this point, but I wanted the connection with Jim e and I had prepaid the hotel stay.)

Tango in La Boca and Faeries in San Telmo

Wow! What fun. Jim e went off on his own and Edgardo brought me to a colorful neighborhood of Buenos Aires called La Boca.

We walked around the shops and climbed narrow stairways in a place where Italian immigrants lived in tiny rooms when they first arrived in the city.

Then, we sat at a table out on the street at a restaurant where a couple danced tango for the tourists, along with a singer, accordion, and guitar. The big surprise came when the beautiful tango dancer grabbed me from the table and insisted I dance with her in front of the crowd of diners and tourists on the street. I got really embarrassed but she was really good and helped me to dance. Edgardo managed to snap a photo. Later on, she danced with him as well. I had a fabulous time!

Next we met up with Edgardo’s friend Nerissa. We walked through town until we got to the San Telmo neighborhood. We saw an interesting monument at a park and stalls where people were selling all kinds of arts and crafts. We had a coffee at a well-known cafe in San Telmo, then we found an amazing little shop that looked like a faerie homeland.

They sold faeries and dwarves and all kinds of creatures there. I bought some as gifts for folks at home.

To round out the evening, we joined a Catholic procession and Passion Play as part of Easter weekend festivities. People listened to sermons broadcast from speakers on the street and walked along with statues of Jesus and Mary that rolled slowly to the stage in a plaza where a play re-enacted the crucifixion of Jesus with a hunky Jesus and other hunky guys getting crucified.

 

Las Madres de la Plaza de Mayo

Jim e and I got up reasonably early and after a quick breakfast we headed to the Cafe de las Madres near the Plaza de Mayo.

After a drink and a look at the pictures and the list of disappeared persons at the cafe, we walked over to the Plaza de Mayo and watched the mothers and grandmothers as the walked around the plaza. I even walked a bit with them.

I felt moved by their courage in standing up against the abusive Argentinian dictatorship in support of their family members who were “disappeared.”

We met Frank, a French-speaker from Montreal there after earlier meeting him at the hotel.

After searching unsuccessfully for a vegetarian restaurant, we ended up eating at a mediocre restaurant with mate (the ubiquitous tea-like beverage served warm in cured pumpkin gourds), bruschetta, and empanadas (which weren’t as delicious as the one I had near the plastic surgery clinic).

That evening, we went to a vegetarian restaurant called Bio in Palermo Viejo, which was hands down my favorite restaurant in all of Buenos Aires.

La Vida en Buenos Aires

Edgardo was a great pal while I was in Buenos Aires. He and Jim e and I hung out a lot together, well, especially he and I hung out together. He came to the hotel in a taxi to help me change dollars into pesos since I didn’t have any pesos I could use to pay the taxi driver until after I changed money. Afterwards we went to his place for a great “nap”.

He lives with a guy named Javier who is a bit blase about life in Buenos Aires.

Before meeting Andy, another guy from the Internet, I tasted my first real empanada at a place near the plastic surgery clinic where Andy has asked to meet me.

He showed up late and wasn’t at the clinic. We walked around town, bought some books, and ended up eating dinner at a restaurant in Palermo Viejo. During dinner, I found out that he had a boyfriend and hadn’t told his boyfriend that we were meeting. I gave him some advice about honesty in relationships.

Next I met with a guy named Daniel, also from the Internet.

We walked around Palermo Viejo and had a drink at a cafe. He was a nice guy but I got the impression that we didn’t hit it off that well. I later found out that he was hit by a car and injured a bit, so he went to his mother’s place out of town and we didn’t see each other again before I left.

I rounded out the day by going to a couple of gay bars (Sitges and Titanic) with Jim e and a guy staying at the hotel named Raoul. I didn’t really like the bars. Sitges was nearly empty and had only a few foreigners and a nervous under-age boy who got thrown out of the place. Of course, it was a Wednesday night.

Arrived in Buenos Aires

Yesterday, I arrived in Buenos Aires. I spent 20 hours in airports and planes with a bit of turbulence along the way. I really don´t like the traveling part of travel–I prefer being there.

I love the views from above the clouds in airplanes. Sometimes it looks like a glacial mountainous landscape or a dark turbulent ocean or a windswept parched desert.

Fog prevented our landing in Buenos Aires for a couple of hours. We circled around and around. Then, after we landed, I made it through passport control and customs with no problem. I waited for my friend Jim e Sparklepant´s flight to land. His flight was delayed due to fog as well.

We waited for an hour in the airport for the taxi scheduled by the hotel to arrive. It didn´t come so we called the hotel. We waited another hour and it still didn´t arrive so we called the hotel and ordered a taxi from the airport stand, which we should have done in the first place, as it turned out to be just as safe and a bit cheaper.

Of course, the taxi driver drove like a bat out of hell. I thought San Franciscans didn´t respect lane boundaries, but Argentinians have made sliding between lanes a national pastime. I took quite a few deep breaths as the trucks, taxis, and cars narrowly missed changing into the same lane at the same time.

Roberto greeted us upon our arrival at Hotel Bayres, in the Viejo Palermo barrio. He was friendly, and I was a bit grumpy about the taxi. Jim e and I made a pact to converse as much as possible in Spanish so he can become fluent and I can learn. I´m understanding much of what I hear, but occasionally I miss the meaning entirely.

The hotel is inexpensive ($30 per night with shared bath and $40 with separate bath) and the rooms are quaint. The rate includes a continental breakfast served at any time of day.

Before taking a nap, Jim e and I walked to Miranda, a charming restaurant recommended by Roberto. We had pasta with delicious sauces and hearty bread with an herb butter. The servers were very handsome, as are many of the guys and women in Buenos Aires.

Buenos Aires is a busy city with lots of traffic and less respect for pedestrians than in San Francisco. However, if you walk a block or two from the large avenues, you can find relatively quiet streets, much more pleasant for a stroll. Many of the streets are in disrepair with what seem to be sidewalk improvement projects possibly initiated by local residents. Palermo Viejo has a certain charm with some old buildings and lots of shops and restaurants.

After a nap, I met an Internet friend named Daniel. We walked around Palermo Viejo again. Both of us were tired. We ate a snack of bruschetta and drank a beverage at a local restaurant. We talked about his recent trip to Europe and what to do while in Buenos Aires. He is a handsome and cosmopolitan fellow and I´d like to get to know him better.

He walked me back to the hotel and I waited with him for his bus to arrive. Then, I went back to the hotel, chatted with Jim e, played on the Internet a bit, and crashed for 12 hours!

This morning I woke up and Jim e had already left. Roberto pulled my continental breakfast together, which include a dulce de leche topping for the toast.

I must change money today because after the banks close at 3pm, they will be closed for several days for Easter holidays. Another Internet friend named Edgardo is on his way here by taxi to help me change dollars into pesos and hang out until he has to go to work at 5pm. Then, I´ll meet Andy, another Internet friend as he comes out of his appointment at the dentist at 6pm.

Fortunately, the hotel has two computers always available for Internet access, so I should be able to continue writing a lot for the next week or more.

Seattle Trip, Evolving Cob

A week spent vacationing in Seattle with my family and with Cob convinced me that Cob and I are not boyfriend candidates, at least well into the future. The upside is that we both seemingly want to continue to be friends with one another.

The trip was wonderful in many ways. I cooked a meal for 10 family members on Friday evening and got lots of wonderful feedback for doing so. I reconnected with Dad in some nice ways, with good conversation and lots, perhaps too much, technical support on the computer. I met Dad’s new partner Mariel who was very friendly and welcoming. I spent an afternoon hanging out with Mom, sharing stories and tiny glasses of Vermeer, a chocolate liqueur we both like. Cob met my family and played his viol, even singing a tune along with it. I had lots of time to hang out with my three nephews, Alex, Sam, and Zach, who are all growing up in wondrous ways.

Cob and I took Monday and Tuesday on a road trip to the towns and countryside around Gold Bar and Index. We hiked up Wallace Falls and I got to jump into the freezing cold river water at the top of the falls before hiking back down through all the wonderful forests and seeing all the expansive views on the way down. We found a wonderful place to stay called the Rose Hill Bed & Breakfast. Moon, the proprietor, welcomed us warmly although we arrived without a reservation at 7pm on Labor Day! Fortunately for us, her place was available because it was a large apartment with crazy interior decorating and wonderful views of the mountains around Index. Moon, Jacob, and I got on fabulously… she recommended to Cob that he move to San Francisco and could tell how taken I am with him.

On the drive back to Seattle, Cob made it clear to me that he felt my romantic interest in him was blocking our relationship from developing into a solid friendship. I mourned the lost days we could have spent together as partners and lovers and let go. I told him I would never kiss him or ask him to make love again unless he someday lets me know it’s ok to do so. He said he wanted some space to himself my last evening in Seattle, which hurt a bit, but again I just let go.

Instead, after hanging out with my father, I went to visit my friend J Steve and we spent a pleasant evening eating dinner, chatting in front of the public library near his apartment, and cuddling all night to make love in the morning. His style of connecting with me physically felt much less restrained than with Cob as of late, so it was all part of a healing process for me, even though J Steve is partnered with Drake who lives in Bend.

I hate it when I get into a despairing mood about my ability to partner with someone. Sometimes a lengthy queue of prospective partners of the past works its way through my mind in a gloomy procession of seemingly failed connections. When I look at it all intellectually, it seems silly. I remind myself that I would make a wonderful partner, even as I have doubts that there is somehow something wrong with me that has prevented deep long-term romantic connections since Rico and I broke up in 1996.

Visiting Seattle: Family, Longhairs, “Hair,” and Boom

I’ve been visiting Seattle since Wednesday and will return home tomorrow.

I got to meet my two new baby nephews, born within a week of each other to my sister Jen and my sister-in-law Erika. Their names are Zach and Sam.

I’ve started up picture galleries for myself and some of my family members:

http://www.willdoherty.org/gallery/albums.php

http://www.alexbenton.org/gallery/albums.php

http://www.zachbenton.org/gallery/albums.php

http://www.samdoherty.org/gallery/albums.php

http://www.erikawalther.org/gallery/albums.php

http://www.rickdoh.org/gallery/albums.php

Hopefully, the rest of the family will start posting pictures too!

We had a good time celebrating Dan’s birthday and I had a pleasant lunch with my mother. I’ve been staying at my father’s place and he and I are planning to have lunch with my brother today, after which I’ll probably head over to the house where the rest of the family lives in the evening.

In addition to visiting my family, I met up with a bunch of queer longhairs here in Seattle. In addition to great meals at varioous restaurants and some bar hopping, we attended a great production of the play “Hair” at the 5th Street Theatre. I was crying throughout the performance of what is now a theatre classic. It seems particularly apropos in this time of U.S. interventions abroad, although parts of the play definitely are dated to the 60s era.

Thanks to Mike, Herb, and J. Steve for organizing a fabulous weekend of longhair events! It was good to meet Bryan from near Vancouver and to see Seattlite David Kerlick as well as Drake from Bend, O’er Again. 🙂

I got a chance to meet a faerie named Boom in person… it was fun to get to know him better.

Paul

Paul and I are still chatting regularly online and sometimes by phone. He is seeing a Dutch guy named Ivo long distance.

I don’t think I felt up to recounting here how he told me by phone one day that I am not “the one” for him. He “broke it off” with another guy named Bruno on the same day. Bruno basically said whatever and cut off communication. I told Paul I still really care about him and still want to see him.

I’ve realized that I love him whether or not he loves me.

I’ve realized that the situation is not unhealthy unless I make it so. For example, as a result of my connection with Paul, I feel better about exercising and I’m trying to learn Spanish. These are overall positive effects on my life.

Paul tells me that we may visit each other at some point after he returns to Cordoba where he lives in Argentina. I think it would be fun to take a trip to Buenos Aires to see the political developments there, then to tour a bit around Argentina and visit Paul.

Faerie Gathering at Breitenbush Hot Springs

The faerie gathering I attended at the Breitenbush Hot Springs Community in the Cascade foothills of rural Oregon was fabulous! I feel so relaxed.

I met about 175 faeries some of whom I’ve seen there for years. I think it’s my 16th or 17th visit as I’ve only missed one winter gathering there since 1986 or 1987.

Dean (Fister) was kind enough to pick me up from the airport and give me a place to stay the night before heading to the gathering. He introduced me to his friend Bam Bam. We went out for a couple of drinks at the queer bars on Stark Street, one of the two gay districts in Portland, Oregon. I saw some really goodlooking young longhair guys, some of whom were probably hustlers and none of whom seemed interested in me. So I hung out with Bam Bam until Dean joined us later in the evening. I did meet one nice fellow named Dustin. We played 20 Questions to see if we could figure out what each of us does for a living. I finally figured out that he is a diver. He figured out that I’m an Internet activist.

The next morning, Jim and Lars arrived at Dean’s place and we went to buy some boots at a butch camping store called G.I. Joe’s. I got some great pics of those guys in front of the store, then in the rifle section. Jim and I both bought the same size of women’s boots, called Bog Boots, perfect for Breitenbush weather. Then, we drove over to Three Friends, a fabulous cafe where the faeries meet on weekends. Lars and I played a very close game of pool while waiting for our food. We were famished and ate quickly. Then, we stopped at the car rental office to get me signed up as a driver.

We drove in a few hours to Breitenbush. Damien and another faerie greeted us at the parking lot and a lovely camouflaged nun pointed us to our parking spot.

I unpacked my stuff into geothermally heated cabin D8 which I shared with Viking Diva, Elephant’s Child, and another faerie whose name I can’t remember. My faerie name is Stardust.

The gathering was perhaps the mellowest one I have ever attended. I really relaxed, avoiding doing any of the organizational stuff since I got so sick last winter as co-Queen Registrar with Rosemary for Remembrance from trying to take care of everything about the gathering.

I just ate excellent vegetarian food, did yoga, exchanged massage, soaked in the tubs, went into the sauna, danced the Dances of Universal Peace (“sufi dancing”), attended Scotty Dog’s workshop on faerie intentional communities, and made love with a couple of really sweet faeries named Jacob (Cob) and Rodney.

The fashion show and the talent/no-talent shows were wonderfully entertaining and not as long as at most gatherings.

I met and connected with so many wonderful people that it would be impossible to list them all here.

I hitched a ride back to Portland with Rodney and his roommate James. We went to a re-entry potluck event at Walowa’s place. I ended up spending a wonderful night with Rodney at a Portland hotel.