From Eric and Mitcho’s land, Covelo, Mendocino County, CA:
How amazing to be back out in the country camping on the land. During the Queer Freedom Day festivities, Eric (aka Cattail) invited me to come to a Fourth of July camping weekend at his and Mitcho’s land in Covelo. Coincidentally, Yoyo (aka Joe), who I met at Antler’s Comfort & Joy Afterglow party, is the current caretaker and Eric and Mitcho’s place. So, I got a ride up with Andrew, his boyfriend Nori, and Anthony. We talked radical politics for part of the ride, considering my proposal for limiting income from all sources to $7 million a year.
We ate at a Chinese buffet restaurant on the way up, after getting a jump start for the van from a neighbor on Bernal, near my house.
We arrived fairly late at night, but I really wanted to set up my tent so I could feel fully landed and grounded in this beautiful place. So, I asked Eric, who was kind of helpful, and Yoyo, who brought me to a fabulous camping spot in a madrone grove not far from the main cabin. The path to the location feels like it is magically warded somehow because I have to concentrate very hard to remember the path even though it’s within shouting distance of the cabin.
Jack T., former housemate, is also at the Covelo gathering and it is great to have an informal environment where we can reconnect.
So far today, I’ve done my yoga — been keeping up a good practice, although my lower back seems tight — and helped with installing a solar water pump down by a creek, which was fairly hard work, but I got to jump under little waterfalls in the creek afterwards. Apparently, there is a bigger river to play in nearby which I hope to check out a bit later today. These are all tributaries of the Eel River, which Mitcho tells me is one of the last few clean rivers around here.
Buck and his friend Prickly made magnificent Hawaiian macademia nut, mango, blueberry pancakes for breakfast, which I ate along with a mimosa from Eric. I skipped the bacon and eggs.
Last week, I was cruising online and made connections with a few more guys. I met one, named Keith, who lives on Valencia between 19th and 20th Streets. I went over to his place and he sucked my dick with me coming onto his shoulder. Afterwards, we chatted a bit and I learned he was out of his job as a floor installer and repair person because he contracted lead poisoning as a result of paint exposure during his work. He seemed sincere about getting together from time to time. I invited him to come by and check out the stairs at my house to see if he could help fix them up. Perhaps he could also help with refinishing the hardwood floors. Storm said I just want him on his hands and knees. đ
Yesterday, the mystery of what happened to Guille was solved. I noticed him online and chatted him up. He was cordial and even friendly and loving, yet he was on there to call his sister for her birthday. The day before he had sent me an email explaining that he had received the funds for his mother’s medical treatment, that the treatment was going well, and that he had been busy traveling around to take care of her. In other words, he was very busy, so didn’t have time to answer my emails or phone calls during that week. Then, while we chatted online, when I realized he was preoccupied with his sister’s birthday, I offered to wait and chat with him whne he finished with her. He seemed glad about that and said, “Dale,” in Spanish, which means, “Let’s do it.” So, I waited and waited for him, then I noticed that he signed off chat, then briefly back on, then off again, without chatting with me. I can’t help but feel disappointed. I’m feeling like the best move now would be to let him contact me, rather than throwing so much of my energy into what may be a lost cause.
No, that is too harsh. I want to let him contact me so that there is a balance in desire to connect within the relationship.
Interestingly, Paul T., who I met in Rio on my last trip and who now lives in Cordoba, Argentina, started chatting me up yesterday. This after I had decided not to seek him out any fruther since he didn’t want to meet with me while I was in Argentina. I told him that I didn’t feel like he was really a friend because chatting online once every several months didn’t make a friendship for me. I asked him if his boyfriend had broken up with him, and of course that was the case, probably because he gave his boyfriend the same on-and-off again attentions he has given me. He thinks a deep connection with me isn’t possible because of the distance, or so he says to me, even though he is now coming to the States on a regular basis. We left it that he will contact me on his next trip to the States and we will meet in person to see how things work out between us. Basically, I feel like it’s up to him at this point.
Meanwhile, on the eve of Queer Freedom Day in San Francisco, I met up with Robin Hood, who I had met previously at the Vancouver Green Body radical faerie gathering. He is a faerie who lives on an island on the Canadian coast. He and I set up a ritual (or scene) where I met him at the dinner that Kirk R. and his partner Ed had set up for Canadians coming to Witch Camp in Mendocino redwood territory. The scene involved a whirlwind tour of San Francisco’s queer underbelly, with him blindfolded and on collar and lead. We had a great time at various venues, such as navigating through 20,000+ people at the Pink Party on Castro Street, where I showed him the center of gay mecca as well as Harvey Milk’s camera shop, while we danced, him blindfolded, in the streets. People tried yanking his chain, removing his blindfold, and other shenanigans, sometimes without permission, but apparently the protective spell we cast to initiate the ritual on my back deck held well throughout the evening. We also visited the Hole in the Wall, where we removed the blindfold briefly so he could appreciate the visual panoply of this historic dive, then to the Powerhouse which we checked out and kissed and got blown on the rear patio after navigating stairs jam-packed with sweaty guys, all while he was still blindfolded and on collar and lead. Then, to Blow Buddies, the first time for both of us, where they made us remove the blindfold, and we watched lots of mindless sex in little cabins with glory holes and got blown again by a cute boy who sat on a toilet seat after we pissed in the nearby urinals. I liked how Robin Hood shared the boy freely with me and I loved the feeling of his short dark hair in my hands as my dick slid in and out of his sweet throat. I pet him as he sucked me, then kissed him after I came in his mouth, tasking my own cum on his lips. Then, we left Blow Buddies and headed to Afterglow, a Comfort & Joy party at Antler’s place in the Inner Richmond. There, we released our scene of Beauty (Robin Hood) and the Prince (moi) by Robin Hood saying, “And they lived happily ever after.” We partied a bit more there and I met a delicious faerie named Yoyo who Robin Hood urged me to get to know better, so I made out with and smoked a little pot with him. It turns out he is caretaking Eric (Cattail) and Mitcho’s cabin up at Covelo, and the next morning, after riding groggily with Mikes on Bikes (gay guys on bicycles) just after Dykes on Bikes (lesbians on motorcycles) who start the Queer Freedom Day Parade in San Francisco, I was at a brunch with Cattail and Mitcho where Cattil invited me to a little gathering over July 4th weekend at their place in Covelo. Thus, a possible time to hang out with Yoyo some more, although he may still have a “friend from New York” visiting him at that time. I’m trying not to get too attached to the notion of him falling for me, although I bet I could fall for him.
I saw him again on Queer Freedom Day when I went with the brunch boys from Johnny Thunder and Brian’s place in the Haight over to the Faerie Freedom Village. We weaved our way through the humungous crowds to drop our bikes off at the cool valet parking offered by the San Francisco Bike Coalition. The Faerie Freedom Village seemed more packed than usual, and with a lower proportion of faerie faces I knew to those I didn’t. That still meant hundreds I did meet and greet, including Ron and Rog who are real sweeties. A photographer friend persuaded Ron and me to get nekkid for pictures in the Vilalge, including some with the grease-covered buy in overalls who organizes Mikes on bikes each year. Hopefully, she will email copies of the pics as promised. I even had enough energy to stop in at the Mikes on Bikes party at Marty’s place on 14th St. on my bike ride home. I was hoping Yoyo might show up there as well, but he had been up all night since he stayed at Antler’s and probably crashed out somewhere before heading to the Mikes on Bikes party. I called and left a message with him about potentially hanging out a bit in Covelo over July 4th weekend. I will go anyway because it sounds like a fun group and an amazing place, even if I don’t get to hang with Yoyo.
Meanwhile, I’m focusing this week on Egypt, reading history and learning hieroglyphics. My project is gradually coming together and I’m very excited to be working on my true passion. Let’s hope the money side of things works out as well.
I’m really loving riding my new bike with the raised handlebars, so I don’t have to worry so much about my neck/spine trouble, and I’m ready to check out local swimming pools to get even more exercise. I’m doing yoga almost every day before I work on the novels, and I’m eating carefully to keep my weight down. I’m experimenting with going off my blood pressure medication and, so far, the blood pressure reading averages appear to be the same as when I was on the medication.
Storm’s buddy Hawke is visiting us for awhile and we are still searching for another housemate since the departure of Joannes (aka Janice) and Kat. I saw them at the Trans Rally and March on Friday, which I attended wearing a paisley skirt on my new bike.
I’m three months in to an injury on the neck portion of my spine (herniated disk at C6-7 and some damage also at C5-6) causing pain in the left side of my body, that is, neck, shoulder, chest, forearm, and hand. The pain just came on gradually… there was no specific trauma. The cause may be related to hunching over a laptop, carrying a heavy backpack while biking everywhere, strain from certain yoga poses, or most likely just routine wear and tear on my aging body. Now, it’s mostly just numbness in my left hand. I’ve reduced my dose of naproxen (naprosyn) to half (500 mg/day) of what I started at (1000 mg/day) and I plan to gradually reduce it further. I’m also taking hydrochlorothiazide (25 mg/day) to keep my blood pressure under 140/90, which seems to be working.
Physical therapy seems to have perhaps reduced the pain, but the numbness is still here, so I may have to consider surgery within the next few months. I’ve seen two neurosurgeons who have different opinions about the surgical options and the potential problems. One recommends fusing three vertebras together in a surgery that enters from the front. The other recommends removing the portion of the disk that is protruding into the nerve bundle entering from the back by drilling holes one (or more?) of my vertebras. There is some chance that all could heal naturally, but that usually happens within the first three months following the injury. I’ll have to decide within the next month or so.
I’m trying to exercise more so I get cardiovascular exercise, keep from gaining more weight, and get back in shape.
Since both prospective parent Nina and potential longhair dating partner David have told me that things are not going to happen as I had hoped, I experienced fairly strong feelings of rejection.
On top of a flu with headaches and following a surgical procedure on my butt, I’d have to say this hasn’t been my favorite month.
I find myself wanting to cacoon at home a lot, eat healthy and not-so-healthy foods (ice cream, garlic bread made with real butter!), and watch lots of movies.
Last night, I was tossing and turning when I normally would have been sleeping. I woke up looking out through the dark fog out my window. I pleasured myself. I felt lonely and tried some little consolations like holding my own hand, petting my own hair, and visualizing cuddling with someone I love.
After awhile, I had a kind of revelation — that the rejection I was feeling had more to do with timing and circumstance than with any real deficiencies on my part. I had a sense of the transience of individual human connections and the emergence of overall patterns of caring at the social level. I felt comforted by the vision, pleasured myself once again, and finally got some more sleep!
It’s amazing what a minor surgery and the flu will do for catching up on those DVDs and videos! I’ve seen quite a few of them recently.
“Finding Forrester,” directed by Gus van Sant, was an excellent exploration of the relationship between a bright black teenager who is an aspiring writer and an older white novelist.
“Higher Education” is a scary film about the depths of racism on a college campus.
“The Quiet American” provides an interesting perspective on French colonialism in Vietnam and early steps toward the entry of the U.S. into the struggle.
“The Mystic Masseur” wasn’t all that great a portrayal of the life of an ordinary man who becomes a mystic and then a politician.
There were several others that I can’t remember right now. That flu haze is settling in again.
Wow! I managed not to write any blog entries for more than a month. I guess I’ve been just a wee bit busy.
Most recently, I’ve had a nasty cold or flu. Two days home from work with a sore throat, headache, achy muscles, and fatigue. Just well enough to get up for a work meeting this afternoon.
Typically strange San Francisco moment… I’m on a Muni bus commuting to work and the bus plays a recording, “thank you for riding Muni.” a homeless guy eating goldfish crackers says, “You’re welcome!”
I still have the remnants of a sore throat, but I was able to do some yoga and I feel even better after the yoga. It’s like a feedback loop.
I’ve sent and received more email from Paul. He’s not sure that he wants to visit San Francisco anymore… we’ll have to wait and see. During yoga, I realized that I am doing what I can to strengthen my connection with him and that I still feel strongly for him. I realized that I am an amazing person! I will make a great boyfriend for him if he chooses that path.
In the meantime, I need to keep up my connections with other people in my life as well. It was good to get a call from Jon about going to hear a queer band last night, even though I wasn’t up for it. I tried calling Rodney who I met at Breitenbush a second time… he seems really busy and unresponsive. He and his housemate James are planning a trip to San Francisco at the beginning of April. I may or may not be back from my trip to New York for the Computers, Freedom, & Privacy conference in time to see them. I haven’t heard from Lance in awhile… I was thinking that perhaps shaving my goatee had turned him off or that the chemistry may just not be there anymore. No word at all from Steve… I’ll let him take whatever initiative there will be. Guy and Jey will have their game night tonight, but I can’t go because I’ll be at the Symphony with David.
I’d like to see if I can set up a trip to Seattle to see my new-born baby nephews. It would be great to see Cob at the same time, unless he decides to make his way to San Francisco before then.
Despite all that great yoga I was doing, I managed to get a nasty post-Breitenbush cold. So I’ve spent the last couple of days working from home. It isn’t as bad as the colds usually are, but I’m not feeling up to riding my bike to work and doing my full yoga workout. I did manage to move the TV off the Soloflex machine so I’m occasionally doing exercises on it now.
I scheduled a minor medical procedure for June 10 and Jack was kind enough to say he’d pick me up afterwards.
