Terry Waltzes Into Will’s Life

We don’t know what to write about Terry yet, except he’s good in bed and helped me come up with this sentence:

“The jaws of life couldn’t get it out of his throat in time.”

Something must be going on because he lives at least an hour’s drive away and we’ve gotten together four or five times since we met on August 5.

Update on Matthew

I ran into Matthew, who I had dated for around six months last year, while on my way to my weekly lesekreis, German reading group, meeting. His hair was short and purple. We caught up on some of the news. Although he’s not currently with the guy he had been dating, he said they would probably get together again, as they dated on and off since he and I stopped seeing each other. He asked about my spine injury, although he hadn’t contacted me at all before to check with me about it. He also asked if he could hug me and I said yes, so we hugged. Luckily, my past obsessive feelings of attraction for him seem to be firmly in check. We wished each other well and parted.

Day Out of Time Gathering on Mount Rainier

Although postponed by a couple of days to accommodate attendance at the Romp Naked event in Seattle on July 22, the “Two Spirit Day Out of Time” gathering took place from July 23-26 on Mount Rainier. Sierra, who works as a ranger at the Sunrise Camp on Mount Rainier, issued the call and dealt with logistics, and Franz prepared healthy organic food and Julie Andrews “Sound of Music” inspired art for the gathering. The pictures below come from the cameras of many of those who attended the gathering.

Kirby (pic above) took a bit of a leap by driving up with Sierra and Franz for the gathering while still on crutches! I hitched a ride from Mugwort (above), who also shared a campsite where we both pitched our tents. Thanks to my dad for loaning me a tent so I didn’t have to cart one up on the plane from San Francisco.

My first view of Mount Rainier after two years stunned me. Grandmother Rainier–as Fruitboy has dubbed her–radiates beauty.

Mugwort, Kirby, Dazzle, Tusk, and I admired the landscape at the lookout point on the way up from the White River campground to the Sunrise Camp, which is the highest altitude point on a highway in the state of Washington, according to Ranger Sierra.

The greenery provided an amazing contrast to the mountain, snow-covered even in mid-summer.

Much of the gathering took place at the Sunrise Camp employee living quarters, the home for Sierra and other rangers and interns during the season when Sunrise Camp is open to visitors.

Sierra can see a great view of Mount Rainier, similar to this one above, from his bedroom window.

Sunrise Camp consists of a lodge with a snack bar for visitors and the Visitor Center and employee living quarters. You can’t beat the views from Sunrise.

The first evening Mugwort and I arrived a bit late. After setting up our tents at the White River campsite that Dazzle and Tusk saved for us, we drove up to the Sunrise Camp and found Kirby and Franz chatting near the entrance to the employee residence building with the great view of Mount Rainier. Franz said he’d pull some dinner together for us in a bit, so Mugwort and I hiked a bit up the trail toward Dege Peak and had a look over the other side of the ridge at a beautiful rock slide canyon with a sunset on a multilayered mountain horizon that took my breath away.

After dinner, we were exhausted and went back to the campsite for an early night. I was fighting off a nasty cold, but the next morning I decided to accompany the group on the planned hike to the Burroughs Peaks, thinking I would turn back after reaching the summit of Burroughs Peak I, while the group continued on to Burroughs II and III.

After hiking past a mountain stream and lots of beautiful flowers like the Indian Paintbrush above, we saw spectacular views of glacial lakes and snowy mountain peaks on the way up to the Burroughs Peaks.

At an overlook point, we got a good look at the glacier we would visit the following day. Plus, we saw some Bear Flowers.

Part of the trail was on rock slides and Sierra led us fearlessly upward.

The summit of Burroughs Peak I is large and flat, kind of a moonscape.

We got some great views of the Mount Rainier summit and saw patches of snow all around us.

Burroughs Peak I affords a good peek at Burroughs Peak II, and after some persuasion by Sierra, I decided to continue on to the second peak.

We could see down into Berkeley Park, home of the amazing wildflowers, from the trail between Burroughs Peaks I and II.

We crossed our first snow on the trail at that point too.

The views from Burroughs Peak II were also spectacular.

The Hills Are Alive… with Fruitboy on Burroughs Peak II of Mount Rainier.

In the distance was a snowy lake that may be a reservoir.

After Burroughs Peak II, I headed back down while the others continued onward to Burroughs Peak III.

I was quite exhausted on the way home, due to my cold, but still enjoyed pine groves and flowery meadows while hiking.

We met again at the White River campsite the following morning for a hike to the ice cave at the base of the glacier we had seen the day before. Kirby held down the fort at the camp due to his broken leg.

On the glacier trail, we saw Devil’s Club plants, a deer, and some amazing mountain streams and lakes. The lakes were cloudy due to deposits from the glacier.

We saw a strange pyramidal peak in front of the Mount Rainier summit. Fruitboy, Sierra, Mugwort, Dazzle, and Tusk all joined me in checking out the glacier lake.

Besides the strange pyramidal peak, I saw what looked like an owl in stone from an outcrop looking over us on another side of the glacial canyon. On the canyon floor, Sierra noted the change in rock deposits perhaps due to the river, the glacier, or to lava flows.

The floor of the glacial canyon included other mysteries, such as the white lichen and the lime deposits thrust up from the canyon floor.

We got up close and personal to a glacial lake, some composite rock, and Fireweed flowers.

As we walked, I looked back and saw a marvelous vista. We came across Monkey Flowers and strange slime in a creek.

After fording a glacial creek, we approached the glacier. At first, I thought the finger of the glacier extending down between the river and the mountain was the mountain itself, but I eventually noticed the rocks tumbling off the melting ice.

Falling debris gave us the clue that we should not approach the glacier too closely.

At last, we saw the ice cave!

We got up fairly close and I was tempted to crawl inside, but both Sierra and Fruitboy insisted that would be a very bad idea.

So we watched from what we thought was a safe distance.

I decided to call the cave the alabaster ice cave due to the beautiful texture of its ceiling and walls.

A glacial river streamed out from the cave.

Watching the cave became a bit of a spectator sport.

Then, the ice cave started to collapse!

Large ice boulders started falling downstream and Sierra went down to retrieve some of the smaller ones for us to examine up close.

One piece of ice had a mysterious thing trapped inside, which must have been there for many years.

Then, the ice cave collapsed some more! This time baseball-sized chunks exploded out from where the ice crashed into the river and nearly hit us, so we retreated back further from the ice cave.

We remained entranced by the glacier melting for a long time, then did a ritual for healing of the earth so that the glacier would continue to exist. On the way back to the campsite, we saw a red succulent and stopped by a flowing stream to rest.

I saw a strange fungus on the trail and Fruitboy taught me how to identify different types of pine trees on our way back to camp. The next day was the day to head home, so I took a few pictures of Ranger Sierra at Sunrise Camp before saying goodbye.

Judy, our gathering mascot, gave us all good luck to spread whereever we go on our way down from the mountains. Thanks to Sierra and everyone else who made this gathering possible. 🙂

It Stops With Me

I finished reading Charleen Touchette’s It Stops With Me: Memoir of a Canuck Girl this morning. I put it on library reserve because I read that some school district had banned it and that always sparks my curiosity about a book. The book is autobiographical and tackles the issue of parental abuse of children and therapeutic recovery from all kinds of abuse. I warmed up more and more to the book as I read it.

I’m at home with a cold today.

Yesterday, I had lunch with my friend Jim S. at Cafe Luna on Castro St., then we went to Cafe Flore to chat a bit more. After that, Kurt S. and I did our regular massage exchange at my place. I’m so glad I have my wonderful purple massage table. I decided not to go out to the Eagle or El Rio this weekend, just to spend some time relaxing at home reading about Egypt. A funny coincidence is that my nephew Alex is also learning a lot about Egypt right now since he’s going to a summer camp on that topic. I’m looking forward to seeing him and the rest of the Seattle-based family soon on my trip there from July 20-30, when I will also take several days to go camping to see the wildflowers on Mount Rainier with some of the radical faeries.

Monet, Mitcho, and More

David and Tommy invited me to the Monet exhibit at the Legion of Honor today. It cost $15 to get in and it was overcrowded. I saw several paintings I really liked: one of a hay stack, one of a obscure winter scene, a quite abstract painting of a wave, and another of a seascape at sunset. In the regular collection, we saw a painting titled “Love and the Maiden” (1877) by John Rodham Spencer Stanhope (1829-1908), that included the words “Cor Cordium” over and over again on the cupid figure’s clothing.

A google search turned up this lovely poem by Algernon Charles Swinburne (thanks to David for help with the research on this stuff!):

Cor Cordium
O heart of hearts, the chalice of love's fire,
Hid round with flowers and all the bounty of bloom;
O wonderful and perfect heart, for whom
The lyrist liberty made life a lyre;
O heavenly heart, at whose most dear desire
Dead love, living and singing, cleft his tomb,
And with him risen and regent in death's room
All day thy choral pulses rang full choir;
O heart whose beating blood was running song,
O sole thing sweeter than thine own songs were,
Help us for thy free love's sake to be free,
True for thy truth's sake, for thy strength's sake strong,
Till very liberty make clean and fair
The nursing earth as the sepulchral sea.

We hung out at Cafe Flore afterwards, then I went to a celebration of Mitcho’s retirement from as the director of the city’s queer youth outreach program. I chatted with many of the guys who were at the Covelo camping weekend and of course congratulated Mitcho. The Sisters of Indulgence helped Supervisor Bevan Dufty announce that the City of San Francisco named the day after Mitcho. Mark Leno and other notables were there, but the most poignant speakers were the kids who had come to the youth center. Some described how Mitcho persuaded them not to commit suicide or helped them off of meth. I met two interesting new people: Ariel, a writer and biological female whose crazy doctor father at Harvard reassigned her to be a male in an incident of abusive constructive intersex status, and Aaron, a young fellow who drinks, smokes tobacco, and plays guitar.

After that, the gang walked over to Moby Dick, then walked over and picked up Indian takeout to Johnny and Brian’s place in the Haight. I found out Mark of Mark and Onyx went to Senegal for two years in the Peace Corps and we agreed to meet up again to discuss his experiences there. I got tired before midnight and headed home.

Soft Soul

Grampy’s soft soul is slippery
with voided balconies,
overdosed drugs, and
the self-induced pneumonia
of neglect. He wants to
be by her side
in the great beyond
after more than 60 years
together in the here and now.
There is no way to explain
why not
after all
what consolation is
an empty apartment of memories
that flow stronger than time?
The descendants and helpers
who bring conscious present
do little to stave off
omnipresent death.

Grammy Still Now

Not pretend
but real death —
she’s gone.
Grammy, rest tranquil
in the stillborn dawn
never to wake
by Grampy’s side again.
The pain is over,
the waiting done,
the death drugs flushed
safely down the toilet
where they now belong.
Mingle with the universal
so Grampy can feel
your love spread lovingly
through his suicidal soul.
The time will come
soon enough for you
both to rest side by side
cremains in a cubby
built for two
for all time.

Biking to Boy Beach

I had a great time biking to Boy Beach, which is just south on the coast from the Golden Gate Bridge. I’m so thankful that my body is well enough for me to get out and explore nature and the world.

As I was biking over to the beach, I groaned when I saw a large bank of clouds ahead. As I arrived at the beach, the fog evaporated all at once.

I met a couple of young guys on the beach who were climbing on the cliffs. I asked them about the difficulty of the trail to the bridge and they replied it was easy if I stayed near the water. They thought I was a former teacher of theirs. As I returned from the bridge, I asked them what kind of teacher I was supposed to be, describing my fantasy about being their sex education teacher. They didn’t really think it was funny — oops, I guess they were straight. 😉

Flocks of pelicans flew south over the beach that day.

Next I ran across three guys sunbathing together, one of whom was a longhair named Bruce who I gave a card about the Queer Longhair group and mentioned the party at my place for queer longhairs each year on Folsom Fair eve. I sat with them and shared my organic orange mango juice with them. One guy left and I got to know Bruce and Daniel (who joked his name was Moonshine when I told him mine was either Stardust or Will, whichever he prefers to call me). Bruce massaged suntan lotion into Moonshine’s back and then around his buttocks, continuing with a rather penetrating anal massage for quite some time. They were inviting about my participating in some way and I wanted to, but I also felt really shy and uncomfortable. I joined in a little bit, but the mood just wasn’t right. I was more attracted to Moonshine, but he didn’t want to kiss, so the intimacy wasn’t there for me.

I returned from the beach by biking home. I felt great… it wasn’t a strain to bike even on the hills.

I had an Internet date with Mert after showering. We ate dinner at a new vegan Japanese restaurant called Cha-Ya, which was excellent. I had sea vegetable salad and a dish with veggie pot stickers in hot broth with vegetables. Afterwards, he wanted to go out drinking, so we caught a bus to the Castro and went to The Mix, then to The Bar. I drank mudslides and got quite drunk. He had to catch BART back to the East Bay before midnight, so I rode with him on Muni to the BART stop and continued on to Tubesteak at Aunt Charlie’s on Turk Street. I was on my own with a cool crowd for awhile, then Storm showed up with Jesse and Troy and their friend Will. Somehow, I ended up kissing two different women, one of whom had a moustache painted on her upper lip. I found one guy with two dots painted on each side of his face attractive and gave him my card. On the way home with Storm, we flirted with the taxi driver who let us know he was straight and showed us a picture of his son, now in Denmark with his girlfriend. We urged him to travel to Denmark to be with his family, despite his doubts about the relationship with his girlfriend.

Jim in Love, Little Tree Makes Me Cry

My friend Jim H. came by last evening and after eating penne pasta with tofu-tomato sauce and some Half Baked ice cream with semisweet chocolate sauce and Vermeer chocolate liqueur, we sat down to a film. The film was “The Education of Little Tree,” the story of a half-Indian, half-white boy raised by his grandparents after the death of his parents. They are a bi-racial couple living in Tennessee’s beautiful rural Smoky Mountains and distilling whisky for a living. One of our favorite lines from the film: “I believe your calf has died.” The film brought me to tears a few times, especially around Little Tree’s capture into a school for Indian boys, then his subsequent escape.

Speaking of favorite lines, my favorite so far from “The 4400: Series 2” is: “We left normal behind long ago.”

Jim told me all about his relationship with Jazzy. He’s planning to spend a lot of time up in Vancouver, Canada, exploring their connection further, with a possibility of marrying him and immigrating to Canada.

Lately, my life is full of crazy horrible dates with guys who talk on their cell phones during our date. Talk about a turn-off!